During this week, since there is no real football to watch, the movie for Super Bowl XLV will be filmed by me as the director…..I hate to spoil it, but my version of the Super Bowl has the Packers winning big.
I have worked hard to assemble the following cast.
First of all, the game’s referee, Terry McAuley, will be played by Jimmy Buffet (and he and his crew will likely be wearing their Steelers gear).
The announcers for the game……
Joe Buck, played by Peter Scolari,
And Troy Aikman will be played by the incest-produced son of Bo & Daisy Duke.
Performing at Halftime will be the Black Eyed Peas, portrayed by Wesley Snipes, Lou Diamond Phillips, a younger darker and thinner Kirstie Alley, and Malcolm Jamal-Warner.
On to the teams…………..
For the Packers:
Coach Mike McCarthy will be played by comedian Rob Riggle.
Quarterback Aaron Rodgers, portrayed by intern Ryan from ‘The Office.’
Another 'Office' character will be on display as Receiver Jordy Nelson will be played by Toby.
Veteran Receiver Donald Driver, played by Dumbo.
Star cornerback Charles Woodson will be played by funnyman Wayne Brady.
Stud Linebacker Clay Matthews will be played by Triple H of fake wrestling fame.
While other Linebacker A.J. Hawk will have to be played by Eric Stoltz’ ‘Mask’ character Rocky Dennis (that was a tough one to have to cast).
And Hey, Hey, Hey……Defensive Tackle B.J. Raji will be played by Fat Albert.
Now to the Steelers:
Obviously, Coach Mike Tomlin will be portrayed by Omar Epps (dude is practically looking in the mirror).
Safety Troy Polamalu will need to be played by both members of former tag team the Wild Samoans – 2 people need to cover the amount of the field that #43 covers.
Wide Receiver Hines Ward will be fielded by singing sensation William Hung.
Tight End Heath Miller will be played by Robert Patrick of The Terminator 2.
Taking on Defensive End Brett Keisel’s role will be Grizzly Adams.
Kicker Shaun Suisham will be played by Matt Damon, taking on his most challenging role to date, as someone who isn’t very good at something.
The role of Steelers Wide Receiver Mike Wallace will be played by Billy Idol.
And last, but certainly, not least…..
Big Ben Roethlisberger will be played by this convicted rapist.
ENJOY THE FILM!!!
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