Reigning Cats & Dogs

My TV was on last night as I was calculating my fantasy football league's annual fees.  I was not listening intently but I overheard a commercial that caught my attention.  It was really just one little thing, but I heard a commercial that refers to pet owners as "pet parents."  Huh?  Now I know I'm way out of the loop,
                              O  <----here's the loop    ,      x <-----here's me,
but that is the first time I have ever heard that reference......"pet parents."  This term is harmless and it's probably the cute new IN term, but it is officially under my skin. 
                                             ____________  <-----here's my skin,
                                                 pet parents     <-----here's the term.
There are 2 main reasons why this bothers me; the humanization of pets has gone too far, and it undermines the act of parenting.

The humanization of pets has gone too far.  Pets are great.  I understand what people's pets mean to them.  I understand how you can love their personalities and how they become part of the family.  Yet pets are not people, and the line should be clearly drawn.  Seeing pets dressed up disturbs me....maybe, just maybe, I will let it slide if it's super cold outside and the animal doesn't have much fur/hair.  If you are taking your dog for a walk, the dog should be walking - not pushed in a stroller or carried around in a doggie backpack.  Your pets should be bathed every once in a while, but the money that some people drop on pet grooming fees can get ridiculous.  But really, I'm not one to tell others how to live, so that's not the part that really bothers me.

The part that really bothers me about referring to pet owners as "pet parents" is that it undermines real parents of actual humans, or at least, good parents.  I'm certain that many pet owners treat their pets better than a lot of parents treat their children, but I'm not talking about that.  I'm talking about the majority of parents; those of us who live and die for our kids. 

The connection between pet & owner cannot even come close to matching the connection between child & parent.  While a pet may be some sort of extension of who a person is, it is not literally a genetic part of that person.  It is not something that you created.  You may have "fallen in love" with that pet the first time it laid its eyes on you, but that can't remotely match the love a parent feels for a child before the kid is even born, let alone the instant rush of love you feel when you see the child for the first time, even when the child is covered in the nastiest nastiness ever.  You may be proud that your dog can sit and shake, but it can't compare to the pride you feel when your 5 year old reads on her own, or when your 4 year old can sing all of the lyrics to her favorite songs.  Your pet loves you and it shows you by cuddling with you, but your pet won't just randomly actually tell you "I love you."  Your pet may snip at you from time to time or make your life difficult, but your pet won't actually talk back at you and you won't see the same struggles that parents and children will face, then undoubtedly conquer.

So "pet parents" may sound cute and cool, but sorry, it's just not the same.

Earlier I wrote "pets are great," but what I really meant is that dogs are great.  Cats, on the other hand, suck.  Most dogs look awesome and each breed is very unique.  Dogs will do cool tricks some times.  You can take your dog for a walk and really hang out with it.  Dogs will be there for you as man's best friend when you need someone to talk to but don't really want anybody's advice in return.  I get dogs, but cats?

I will admit I have pretended to like pussy cats in order to get some.....girls.  But what's up with dudes that like cats?  It seems that gay guys really like pussy cats, perhaps it's because every guy needs a little......nah, I won't go there.  I don't have a problem at all with homosexuals.  In my opinion, you can put your body parts wherever you want as long as the other person (or object) is a willing participant.  But liking cats is really gay....liking cats is gayer for dudes than liking other dudes.

Cats suck.  Cats are snobby bitches who run out of the room to go hide under a bed if you're too loud.  Cats for the most part all look the same, aside from colors and weight.  Cats really when you think about it, are pretty worthless.  What do they really do?  What do they contribute? 

Cat owners always say that they love their cats, yet a lot of them just let their cats outside and don't give a shit about where the cat is.  Where's your cat?  "I don't know."  Nice.  If you ask a dog owner where their dog is, the owner will either know, or the owner will be heart-broken that you asked because the owner doesn't know where the dog is.  Well, cat owners, I know what your cats are doing because I see them all over the streets at all hours of the day and night.  They are hanging out on the street, just being worthless as usual.  Some times they are hanging out on porches that belong to people who don't like them, scaring the crap out of us when we get home.  The cat is probably on the porch because it is cold and it wants to be inside, but it knows its owner doesn't care where it is so the cat is looking for a new home.

The last cat that I saw on the street was a cat that is no longer alive.  On the morning of Christmas Eve, I was delivering newspapers when I saw a big dead cat laying on a busy street.  Way to go, cat owner.....you just ruined some little girl's Christmas because you thought your cat was so smart that it would just find its way home.  Way to go, cat....you just ruined some little girl's Christmas because you are an idiot that thought a good place for you to sit your lazy-ass down would be on a place where many cars drive.  I'm just glad I was not part of the equation that ruined that little girl's Christmas and as much as I dislike cats, I would feel so awful if I ever ran one over.....Please cats and cat owners, do not put me in that position. 

Keep your f'ing cats indoors!